Ask Questions That Take You From Self Doubt To Self Love

4 Creative Ways To Trick Your Brain Into a Constructive Narrative

Circumstances or situations are never responsible for your happiness. What am I talking about? Ya know, the perfect job, the perfect spouse, more money, or weighing a certain amount.

It is always our THOUGHTS that are responsible. That's right. I know, it felt weird when I learned it too.

But think about it, an external thing will never bring lasting happiness. By using your mind properly, you can create whatever you want. After all its these thoughts that create the chemical reaction in your brain that cause you feel however you feel.

So, the next time you are tempted to look to the future and think “I can’t wait until…” try stepping back and asking yourself: Why can’t you wait? What do you expect to feel then, and why?

Then remember - you have the ability to feel that way right now.

But how do we get there from here? How do we transition stressful thoughts that steal our joy into questions or thoughts that can empower and lead us into a better mental state? The following is an example of some specific but common scenarios.

If you ever find yourself thinking these things, go ahead and read this, and explore how you have the power to change your experience at any moment.

The following paragraphs explain the differences in thinking disempowering thoughts vs asking yourself quality questions.

“Why is this so hard?” ...VS... "What could it look like for me if this was easy?"

Quality questions can help you get out of your head when you’re used to asking you questions that keep you in the past. If you had the power to reframe a question that could help you discover or create better answers, and therefore better results in your life, wouldn’t you choose that?

This is why I want to share with you that Just by changing ‘would’ to ‘could’, this can transform your inner dialog of “what am I doing wrong” or “why is this so hard”.... and opens up possibilities. Helps you recognize what already exists and what could be, and what can happen. A reminder that you always have the power to choose.

Quality questions are the main ingredient to new and better thoughts.

"Why are you choosing this?"...VS... "What do you want to choose?"

One of the key factors is that I don’t know what frame of mind you’ll be in when you’re asking yourself these questions, so it’s important to approach these questions in a constructive manner, that helps you build yourself up instead of tearing yourself down.

The question What are you choosing sends you back to the patterns of a past of shame, self-blame, and guilt. While The question, What do you want to choose reminds you of your options. If you notice a pattern happening here, then you’d be right. Quality questions will continue to give you your power back.

"Everything’s gone wrong" …VS... "What if nothing has gone wrong here?"

Thought work won’t happen when it’s convenient for you. For example, you’re a woman who has the audacity to put a swimsuit on. You’ve been trained, brain washed, and even defaulted into thinking the thoughts that have led you down paths of insecurity, self-deprecation, and more shame. So, how could we approach this with a better question even when we don’t feel like it? Afterall, you want to love your life, and yourself , right? So, Let’s go over how you can empower the quality of life that you deserve to enjoy.

Thinking or saying, ‘Everything’s gone wrong’ is more likely to lead you to defeat than it is to bring you closer to self acceptance. I wouldn't be far off to say that when you’re thinking thoughts like this, you’d rather be enjoying your day and making memories.

Here’s how to do that.

Once you’ve thought it, it’s done, and I don’t want you to feel bad for it. In fact, I want you to sit with it, but here’s the catch.

“What you resist persists” - Carl Jung

Once you’ve thought about it, and sat with it, I want to invite you to allow yourself to be okay with it. This looks like Being mindful not to agree with the thought, but to simply observing its existence as an echo from the past. An echo that you have the option to give power to, or eliminate completely from your life. It all starts with being aware that you’ve had it, and just sitting with it, without handing over power.

Next step, go enjoy your day, ANYWAY!

“This is taking forever” ...VS... Remember, when you wanted to be where you are?

“It’s not better there than here.” - Brooke Castillo

This is a great time to practice perspective, self-compassion, and gratitude, because there was likely a time that your past self wanted a lot of what you have accomplished and created today.

Now that you know how to take your power back, that better questions give you better results, and how to be aware and observe thoughts without handing them the wheel, you can now move into acceptance.

While we all have goals and ways that we want to live our lives, it’s important not to tear yourself down or how far you’ve come, just because you’re not where you want to be.

The best way to increase your day to day experience is to accept and show yourself compassion for where you’re at, at any given moment.

- Your coach, Jessica Rose